


Splitting to a New Direction

by donutsweeper



Category: Wild Wild West (TV)
Genre: Fade to Black, Getting Together, M/M, Tight Pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: Things going a little awry normally ended badly for Jim. Not this time.
Relationships: Artemus Gordon/James West
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Splitting to a New Direction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eotu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eotu/gifts).



> Thanks to werewolfinatophat for the beta!

Jim waited until he heard Artie's all clear signal, a soft bird call he claimed was the perfect copy of a whippoorwill's but didn't really sound anything like it in Jim's opinion, and then began climbing. The tree he'd chosen was tall and sturdy and close enough to the wall that ran around the Baron's lands that he figured he should be able to swing from one of the higher branches to the top of the wall that bordered the property and from there he could jump down and meet up with Artie on the other side. All in all, things would have been easier if he'd managed to sneak in during the day, but he didn't have the acting or costuming skills Artie did. Unlike Artie, no one in their right mind would have believed him as one of the little old ladies who'd been hired to take care of the laundry so it was safer if he snuck into the estate under the cover of darkness.

The first part of his plan worked well enough. The branches that looked thick enough to support his weight were a bit further away from the wall than he'd have preferred, but after a few back-and-forth swings on one of the bigger ones he was able to build up enough momentum and was able to fly through the air and grab on to the top of the wall. Then all he had to do was pull himself up and over, grip the edge as tight as he could, and stretch his body as long as he could and then drop to the ground.

That was the point where things went a little sideways.

The ground sloped away from the wall so the fall was a little farther than he'd expected, but that was something that could be easily solved by going into a roll immediately upon landing. As planned, it prevented him from hurting his ankles but as he came out of it he heard the unmistakable sound of fabric ripping. Then he immediately began feeling a breeze where he really shouldn't have been feeling one and that was when he realized…

His pants had split.

"Jim, there you are! About time you showed up!" Artie had mastered the technique of managing to seem to be shouting while actually keeping his voice soft enough not to be able to carry any significant distance. It was kind of impressive. Annoying, because he nearly always used it to almost, but not actually, yell at Jim, but still impressive. 

"Hey, Artie." Jim shifted as he spoke, trying to unobtrusively look and see how bad the tear was and whether or not his drawers showed through.

"I've already scoped out Baron Gaspar's study and I think he's storing the plans in the…. What the hell is wrong with you? Did you land wrong and break your leg or something? I knew we should have figured out a different way to sneak you inside; that wall is ridiculously high and even the great James West—"

"Artie,"Jim finally interrupted, "I'm not hurt."

"Then what," Artie started to ask before cutting himself off. From the look of poorly concealed humor on his face it was obvious he'd noticed Jim's wardrobe issue.

Trying not to fidget or bring further attention to it Jim made a 'go on' sort of gesture and prompted, "So what you were saying about the study?"

"I didn't have a lot of time to poke around, but there wasn't anything I could spot remotely resembling blueprints in the desk but there's a large painting that's obviously there only to hide a safe and I'm sorry, but am I just not supposed to notice, or mention, the fact you've split your pants?"

"Ah, yeah, well. There's not much that can be done about that, is there?" Jim might have secreted quite a number of things—wires, picklocks, grappling hooks, extra bullets, explosives, throwing knives, etc—in various places on his person but a spare pair of pants? No, he'd never found a reason to have hidden one of those on him before. Although, to be fair, it wouldn't be easy to do or be something he needed terribly frequently. So while he'd planned for numerous different emergencies, torn clothing was not one of them. Which was more than a little inconvenient at the moment, but oh well. The quicker they broke in, got into the Baron's safe, and got the plans, the quicker they could get back to the train and Jim could change. "So the safe? Do you think it'll be easy to get into?"

"What do you mean 'there's not much that can be done about that'? Nothing? We've been partners for how long? And I thought you knew me by now. I'm offended, Jim. Completely offended," Artie said, slapping his chest and generally acting like Jim had somehow mortally wounded him. Then, confusingly, he added, "Well, off with them then."

Feeling like he'd lost the thread of conversation Jim asked, "Off with what, Artie?"

"Your pants, of course," Artie replied matter-of-factly, like he was just talking about the weather.

Unable to formulate any kind of immediate response to that Jim frowned, looking at Artie and then at his pants and then back at Artie before settling on a simple, "What?"

Artie, meanwhile, ignored him in favor of digging into one of his jacket's pockets and eventually unearthed a small pouch from which he pulled a needle, thread, and leather thimble. "Ah, knew I had this sewing kit in here somewhere." He glanced over a Jim then and frowned. "Jim? Your pants?"

"Do we really have time for this? Shouldn't we focus on getting those plans? Our orders were very clear and getting—"

"Yes, yes, yes, we do need to do that but I overheard the staff talking and apparently Baron Gaspar spends at least two hours working in his study every night before going to bed. By my estimation we have at least another forty-five minutes before we'd have even a chance to sneak in there without getting caught so that leaves me plenty of time to mend that seam." Artie then gave him one of his patented single raised eyebrow with slightly salacious grin combinations, adding, "Unless you _like_ wandering about displaying your backside for all who want to see?"

It was a valid point. And not only that, but if his pants were fixed it would be easier to sneak around and he wouldn't have to worry about being hampered by them tearing further if he wound up having to fight anyone but since he could never resist engaging in a bit of banter once Artie started in with some of those faces he made, Jim decided to tease him by firing back with, "It depends on who's doing the seeing, doesn't it?" even as he began shimmying out of his pants.

If he hadn't sat down to take off his boots, or chosen that exact moment to look up he wouldn't have spotted Artie's resulting expression. It lasted only a second but there were so many emotions that Jim had a hard time interpreting them all: a flash of hope, a moment's piqued interest, and a touch of lust and… oh. 

It was all directed at him.

He could play it off, pretend that he never noticed, or….

"See something you like?" He kept his tone light, teasing, with a hint of his typical flirtatious undertones behind it. He knew he hadn't misread anything, but if Artie hadn't meant to play his hand or make his intentions known, by Jim responding that way it would be easy enough for Artie to brush it off as a joke. 

"Every damned day," Artie replied, his voice soft, but sincere.

"Then, Artemus, I guess we better fix my pants, get those plans, and get back to train so we can do something about that, don't you?"

"I do. I definitely do."


End file.
